I walked into the room and looked around. There were several people already present, getting ready for the meeting. It was my first time there and I felt out of place. As I scanned the crowd, I didn't see anyone who looked at all like me. I just knew it was going to be a long evening. I wasn't going to learn anything new and it was going to be a waste of my time. As I became more aware of my self-talk and the attitude that I was bringing into the room, I realized that nothing was going to be helpful if I continued with this mode of thinking. I needed to check my judgmental attitude at the door or it was going to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sure enough, when I was able to let go of the internal dialogue of complaint and just listen, I was able to see that these people were, in fact, just like me. Only then was I able to learn many helpful ideas from the people who at the start I had judged so poorly.
Attitude can influence how we experience events around us. An attitude of complaint and bitterness can cause us to see only those things that are annoying or not just exactly the way we want them. We can start to focus on small minute details that we magnify to be large irritants. We only see the problems with a situation rather than the blessings that are also there. We adopt a negative filter for everything that comes our way and then ooze that feeling into our relationships. If this continues we can develop the reputation of being a whiner and complainer by all with whom we come into contact. Rather than being a shining light for all to see we become a real downer and someone to be avoided at all cost.
Paul, in his letter to the Philippians, encourages us to do everything without complaint and arguing. He says that this will help us to avoid criticism. I am not sure that I agree with him totally on this point, as we cannot control what others think about us. Even if we do everything cheerfully, there will be some who will find fault with us. However, if we become more aware of our attitude and strive to experience life from a position of gratefulness and optimism, I believe we will find less to criticize in ourselves. We will begin to look forward to the day and the tasks we have on our schedules. We will be able to tackle the harder or less desirable responsibilities from an attitude of openness to the lesson to be learned from them. We will begin to reflect a lightness of heart and this light will attract others to us. They will notice the lightness in our step and our ability to grow, even through difficult times.
It is hard to keep a positive attitude in a world that is full of violence, greed and other ways humanity demonstrates the crooked and perverse nature Paul mentions in the scripture above. Sometimes the evening news is so full of disaster and devastation that it is hard not to grieve and become hopeless. Yet, each day, each moment we have the choice to focus on what we lack or what we have--to focus on what is going well or what needs to be improved. If we get lost in the hopelessness, our attitude adds to the problem. If we can choose to focus on the possibilities, we have a chance to become part of the hope shining in the world. Let us do everything without complaining or arguing but rather with the attitude of hope and love shining forth to all we meet.
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