Fear Not

Fear Not

"Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a

channel into which all other thoughts are drained."

Arthur Somers Roche

For the past two years, our country has been in the middle of the worse recession

since the Great Depression. Little does it matter that the economists have declared the

recession over. Many people are still struggling to find a job or are fearful that their job

might disappear in the future. People are upset and angry at their senators and representatives

in Washington, DC. We have become a very anxious people. Fear appears to

reign supreme.

Now we begin another election cycle and both parties will attempt to use this fear to

sway the voters. We will be bombarded by negative ads until November. Candidates

will claim all kinds of outrageous things about each other and we will be left not knowing

what is the truth.

We are easily manipulated by fear if we place our security in external factors such as

government, relationships, wealth or power. If instead we base our sense of security on

our abilities to adapt to changing situations and focus on what we can do to make a difference,

we will find our anxiety diminishing somewhat. Yes, there are things out of our

control. However, spending useless hours ruminating about them does not change anything

but our ability to respond in the best way possible. We become exhausted from the

worry rather than from any effort to influence what it is that we can change.

It is important to pay attention to anxiety when it rises within and to listen to what we

are telling ourselves. If our thoughts have snowballed out of control with a bunch of

catastrophic predictions or "what ifs" then it is time to confront these cognitions with a

more rational assessment of reality. We need to watch the attitude with which we approach

life and look for moments of joy and gratitude even in the midst of turmoil. While this will not make the economy improve over night, it will allow us to adapt in the best way possible to any situation in which we find ourselves. It is not the "end of the world" or even the end of prosperity in this nation. We will find a way to achieve a balance again as a nation even if it means we will need to be more thrifty and resourceful. This country has been

founded on solid principles which can lead us back to a better future. Let's use this as an opportunity to join together as a nation and work for the betterment of all not just a few special interests.

Wrestling with God

“Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket; and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, ‘Let me go, for the day is break.’ But Jacob said, ‘ I will not let you go, unless you bless me.’ So he said to him, “what is your name?’ And he said, “Jacob.” Then the man said, “ You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed.’ Then Jacob asked him, ‘Please tell me your name.’ But he said, ‘ Why is it that you ask my name?’ And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, ‘For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved.’ The sun rose upon him as he passed Peniel, limping because of his hip.” (Genesis 32:22-31)

The story of Jacob wrestling the “man” for a long and lonely night is one that is familiar to most of us. And it is one that is full of mysteries about what exactly is happening here. It leaves us with questions that theologians and others have struggled to answer about who is this “man” and why it was so important to Jacob to learn his name. Was this a real event or a dream-like sequence in which Jacob struggled to gain the courage he would need to face his brother the next day? Why was it important to send his wife and others on ahead of him? Was this to have solitude or was he using them as a human shield in case his brother came in the night? Was this a true transformation for Jacob or did he continue to be the fearful, compliant man we see in earlier stories?

While the story has many dimensions that can be explored, I prefer to see it as one in which Jacob is wrestling with God through being open to his shadow side. The shadow side is that part of each of us that we prefer for some reason to keep hidden from others and even from ourselves. It can include those traits that are shameful to us or that we distain when we see them manifested in others. However, it can contain positive aspects of our personality that were never encouraged when we were children such as creativity in a family with rigid rules.

For most people, there are times in our lives when crisis forces us to face the shadow side and those things within us that we deeply fear. The crisis can be the unexpected loss of a loved one or a job that has defined our identity. It can be with a diagnosis that takes away our illusion of invulnerability. At that time, we meet the shadow and it brings with it the opportunity to meet God and receive a blessing. We realize that we, alone, can face the demons from which we have run all our lives. Our friends, spouse, or possessions cannot help us now. We must spend the lonely night grappling with those aspects that we have not had the courage to own as a part of us. If we are able to do this we will gain the blessing from the shadow in form of more energy, wholeness, and ability to accept our authentic self.

As a spiritual director and pastoral psychologist I have been privileged to witness other people’s wrestling with these issues. While I cannot take their place in the combat, I am able to provide a sacred space within which they can encounter their shadow and God. Through the struggle, I have watched them learn that God is everywhere, even in the misfortune and suffering. As Eli Wiesel states in his book Messengers of God, “God does not wait for man at the end of the road, the termination of exile; he accompanies him there. He is the road, He is the exile, He is present in every extremity, He is every limit.” God will grant us the blessing if we are willing to engage and stay engaged in the struggle until the dawn breaks and we can see the light at the end of the path. We may be changed forever, we may walk with a limp, but the transformation gained will lead us into a new beginning and further along the path for which we were created to follow.

Blessings

A couple of weekends ago, I had the opportunity to gather with my sisters, mother and cousins in sunny Phoenix, Arizona, for a mini-family reunion. We had a chance to catch up on the happenings in our cousin’s lives since we were last together almost fifteen years ago. Many changes had occurred and it was wonderful to meet their now grown children and grandchildren. We also had time to reminisce about our childhood and our grandmother who played such an important part in all of our lives. She was a real character and we all had funny stories to tell about her escapades. But the overwhelming sense we had was that she knew how to make each of us feel special and loved unconditionally. She was a real blessing in all of our lives and our lives have been made richer just by her presence.

What does it mean to be a blessing to others? When I looked up the word blessing in the dictionary its definition was “the act or words of one that blesses” and the synonyms were “approval or encouragement.” To bless means, “to invoke divine care for” but it also means, “to confer prosperity or happiness upon” someone. How then does one become a blessing? In the case of my grandmother, she brought happiness into the room when she came. She was fun loving, would express direct interest in us, and wanted to spend time with us doing even the silliest thing that we wanted to do as a children. I remember one time when she let my cousin Debbie and I dress up in her best dresses. We were about 12 years of age. She even helped us put on makeup and let us parade around like we were fashion models. Looking at the picture that was taken of that day, we look a bit silly and the clothes really didn’t fit at all, but that didn’t matter. We felt special because of the time grandmother had taken with us.

In Numbers 6:22-27 God gives Moses what is known as the priestly benediction to be passed on to Aaron and the other priests of the time. Most of us have heard this blessing before:

The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make his face to shine upon you,
and be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

In the Protestant tradition, we affirm the priesthood of all believers. That makes everyone of us a priest, a minister with the power to bless others. And blessing others in the name of God is a very powerful act. Who needs to hear a word of blessing from you today? How can you encourage them with a word or just your presence? You can do this with a phone call, a card or a visit. This can be done even in your own prayer time as you lift them up to God, imagine them surrounded with light and bless them in the name of God. May you all feel God’s blessing in your life today!

An Easter Prayer

God of Mystery and Wonder

      We have been to the tomb and found it empty.

      We are in awe but also in confusion

             just like the disciples on that first Easter morning.

      We dare to hope that the empty tomb is Good News

            yet we are afraid of what it might mean for our lives.

Liberator of the imprisoned,

    We confess that we too often live entombed.

    We fail to make the risen Christ evident

        through our words, our actions, and our lives.

    We fail to see those who are hungry, homeless and in need.

    We are trapped in ways of the world

          that lead to suffering and death.

     We find it difficult even to imagine

          what freedom or fullness of life would be like.

Composer of Life,

    Take away all our doubts and fears.

    Enable us to fully believe in the rebirth you promise to us.

    Transform us so that we may witness to the miracles of life

       that you orchestrate each day in the world.

    Teach us to harmonize with your song of hope and resurrection.

Breath of Life,

   Fill us with the joy of the Spirit

     that our faith may never waver,

     for Christ our Savior is risen and we are alive in him.  Amen.

         copyrighted by Denise McGuiness, 2008

Prayer Retreat

This past Saturday, I had the privilege of leading a Prayer Retreat with Rev. Roberta Egli. We had nine people that attended for some or all of the day. We spent time learning new ways to pray all ways, as scripture urges us to do. We used our imaginations, our body and all of our senses in prayer. God provided us with such a beautiful day that many of us were able to walk outside and notice the beauty all around us.

We don't often use our eyes in praise of God. Instead we use them to see violence on TV or in the movies or to watch each other with an attitude of suspicion or mistrust. When we pray in church or at home, we typically shut our eyes. While this might help us to shut out distractions when we are trying to get in touch with God within our soul, at other times it is very appropriate to leave our eyes open when we pray. This is because prayer is just a form of communication between the Creator and the created. And when we talk with other people we keep our eyes open, don't we?

Edward Hayes, a Catholic priest and prolific author, writes about using all our our senses in his book, Pray All Ways. In this book he writes about praying with our eyes. He states that we need to learn how to let what we see become a way into devotion rather than distraction. When we are in church, we can notice all the symbols around us and let them lead us into prayer. We can notice the rituals that are being done, the colors of the banners, the flowers on the altar and allow them to encourage words of praise to our Creator for the wondrous things that have been created. He states

In this way our eyes can be of great value as instruments of communion and gratitude. We can use them to drink in the sights that meet our eyes and, in silence, to absorb the light that shines within them. We could take our time to truly look at someone we love or at a tree or sunset...not saying anything butsimpling looking and beholding and so being in communion.

Next time you are out for a walk or look at your window at the flowers that are just starting to bloom, let your heart be filled with all the beauty that you see. You might even comment out loud to yourself on what you see so that you will use your ears also to hear the beauty around you. Let both of these senses take you into communion with your Creator and give thanks for the little things that bless us each and every day.

Attitude

"Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you.  Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people." (Philippians 2:14-15) 

I walked into the room and looked around.  There were several people already present, getting ready for the meeting.  It was my first time there and I felt out of place.  As I scanned the crowd, I didn't see anyone who looked at all like me.  I just knew it was going to be a long evening.  I wasn't going to learn anything new and it was going to be a waste of my time.  As I became more aware of my self-talk and the attitude that I was bringing into the room, I realized that nothing was going to be helpful if I continued with this mode of thinking.  I needed to check my judgmental attitude at the door or it was going to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sure enough, when I was able to let go of the internal dialogue of complaint and just listen, I was able to see that these people were, in fact, just like me.  Only then was I able to learn many helpful ideas from the people who at the start I had judged so poorly.

Attitude can influence how we experience events around us.  An attitude of complaint and bitterness can cause us to see only those things that are annoying or not just exactly the way we want them. We can start to focus on small minute details that we magnify to be large irritants.  We only see the problems with a situation rather than the blessings that are also there.  We adopt a negative filter for everything that comes our way and then ooze that feeling into our relationships.  If this continues we can develop the reputation of being a whiner and complainer by all with whom we come into contact.  Rather than being a shining light for all to see we become a real downer and someone to be avoided at all cost.

Paul, in his letter to the Philippians, encourages us to do everything without complaint and arguing.  He says that this will help us to avoid criticism.  I am not sure that I agree with him totally on this point, as we cannot control what others think about us.  Even if we do everything cheerfully, there will be some who will find fault with us.  However, if we become more aware of our attitude and strive to experience life from a position of gratefulness and optimism, I believe we will find less to criticize in ourselves.  We will begin to look forward to the day and the tasks we have on our schedules.  We will be able to tackle the harder or less desirable responsibilities from an attitude of openness to the lesson to be learned from them. We will begin to reflect a lightness of heart and this light will attract others to us. They will notice the lightness in our step and our ability to grow, even through difficult times.

It is hard to keep a positive attitude in a world that is full of violence, greed and other ways humanity demonstrates the crooked and perverse nature Paul mentions in the scripture above.  Sometimes the evening news is so full of disaster and devastation that it is hard not to grieve and become hopeless.  Yet, each day, each moment we have the choice to focus on what we lack or what we have--to focus on what is going well or what needs to be improved.  If we get lost in the hopelessness, our attitude adds to the problem.  If we can choose to focus on the possibilities, we have a chance to become part of the hope shining in the world. Let us do everything without complaining or arguing but rather with the attitude of hope and love shining forth to all we meet.

A New Beginning

Welcome to the blog of Living Tree Counseling Services.  This is a first attempt to use a new media to get out the word about the services we offer.  From time to time, we will be uploading articles written by Rev. Dr. Denise McGuiness or Rev. Roberta Egli.  We are hoping that these articles might be helpful to you on your spiritual journey.  We welcome any comments and suggestions of future issues you would like to see address.  We will also use this website to post information about upcoming events.  We are excited to begin on this new adventure in using the internet to communicate.  Blessings, Denise