“Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket; and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, ‘Let me go, for the day is break.’ But Jacob said, ‘ I will not let you go, unless you bless me.’ So he said to him, “what is your name?’ And he said, “Jacob.” Then the man said, “ You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed.’ Then Jacob asked him, ‘Please tell me your name.’ But he said, ‘ Why is it that you ask my name?’ And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, ‘For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved.’ The sun rose upon him as he passed Peniel, limping because of his hip.” (Genesis 32:22-31)
The story of Jacob wrestling the “man” for a long and lonely night is one that is familiar to most of us. And it is one that is full of mysteries about what exactly is happening here. It leaves us with questions that theologians and others have struggled to answer about who is this “man” and why it was so important to Jacob to learn his name. Was this a real event or a dream-like sequence in which Jacob struggled to gain the courage he would need to face his brother the next day? Why was it important to send his wife and others on ahead of him? Was this to have solitude or was he using them as a human shield in case his brother came in the night? Was this a true transformation for Jacob or did he continue to be the fearful, compliant man we see in earlier stories?
While the story has many dimensions that can be explored, I prefer to see it as one in which Jacob is wrestling with God through being open to his shadow side. The shadow side is that part of each of us that we prefer for some reason to keep hidden from others and even from ourselves. It can include those traits that are shameful to us or that we distain when we see them manifested in others. However, it can contain positive aspects of our personality that were never encouraged when we were children such as creativity in a family with rigid rules.
For most people, there are times in our lives when crisis forces us to face the shadow side and those things within us that we deeply fear. The crisis can be the unexpected loss of a loved one or a job that has defined our identity. It can be with a diagnosis that takes away our illusion of invulnerability. At that time, we meet the shadow and it brings with it the opportunity to meet God and receive a blessing. We realize that we, alone, can face the demons from which we have run all our lives. Our friends, spouse, or possessions cannot help us now. We must spend the lonely night grappling with those aspects that we have not had the courage to own as a part of us. If we are able to do this we will gain the blessing from the shadow in form of more energy, wholeness, and ability to accept our authentic self.
As a spiritual director and pastoral psychologist I have been privileged to witness other people’s wrestling with these issues. While I cannot take their place in the combat, I am able to provide a sacred space within which they can encounter their shadow and God. Through the struggle, I have watched them learn that God is everywhere, even in the misfortune and suffering. As Eli Wiesel states in his book Messengers of God, “God does not wait for man at the end of the road, the termination of exile; he accompanies him there. He is the road, He is the exile, He is present in every extremity, He is every limit.” God will grant us the blessing if we are willing to engage and stay engaged in the struggle until the dawn breaks and we can see the light at the end of the path. We may be changed forever, we may walk with a limp, but the transformation gained will lead us into a new beginning and further along the path for which we were created to follow.
